It may be straight up impossible.
Your comment is very constructive Dave, thanks. I didn't really look at the patch notes until immediately after posting this thread, and don't get me wrong, the dev team is doing a good job at player retention. Also really didn't look at donor items. Dash color was a great idea, and I think more implements like that could really help.
EDIT: An expected/in progress development board might help. Its a double edged sword tho.