Whats your laptop exactly? From what I found, Its memory can only be upgraded to 512, but no performance increase was noticed between 256 and 512 anyways. You can check for yourself here:
http://www.crucial.com/store/drammemory.aspx Just put your computer info in the left column and it will tell you the max for your computer. This amount of memory is crucial (pun intended) because your graphics card is integrated and run off this. Since it is a laptop, I'm afraid you can't get a new graphics card for it.
As for the tips, get a new computer or; don't join large rooms, try archetype config, try changing the resolution, stop k-styling lol