Originally Posted by
traumatis3r
About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to masturbate into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.
I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.
Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my 72 year old neighbor changing in the yard next door, presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.
My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.
I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
